Remember, all plots need a beginning, a middle, another middle, another middle with a slight twist, another middle bit where the previous twist wasn’t an actual twist, something that feels like another beginning but can’t be because its a middle, another short middle, something that feels like the ending but isn’t, an ending, a huge twist, the actual ending and an epilogue.
“Argh, I am so stuck! I haven’t written for over 12 minutes! I have terrible writers block”.
We’ve all been there, we’ve all suffered from the feeling of emptiness in our brain, when no thoughts manifest. The crippling fear of whether it’s ‘there’ or ‘their’ that you should write. The awful feeling that makes us wonder if we’re good enough…
So, I thought I’d take a moment to write some great quotes from some of my favourite writers to help get you motivated and push you on to achieving amazing things in your writing career!
Pick up the pen, you idiot – Dave Flippers
When one has no inspiration…you..er…erm.. – Tony Maltesers
To write is to live, to live is to write so if you don’t write you may as well be dead – H.S. Plopping.
Throw that tuna salad out of the window! – Gillian Photocopier
Write, right? – Anne Laser
Writing is easy, it’s defrosting the freezer that’s hard – Bill Dickface
Oh just shut up and at least turn on the computer, you fool! – L.L.L.L. Hugedancer
You can do it…what? Oh, yes that does sound bad…never mind! – Cherie Asparagus
Inspiration is 12 per cent perspiration, 68 per cent sugar and 32 per cent…no hang on that’s not right…hold on…erm… – Kevin Waste
Is dranghyerpfff a word? It is now – Deborah Banktransfer
Have you thought of becoming a mime artist? – Flannery O’Flannersterflan
A writer is always listening…pardon? – Doug Products.
Writing is the souls way of hiding all of the awful, awful things that happen in your life…you’re life is truly awful!! – Terry Flange
Can I borrow your pencil, mate? – Ursula F. Nur-ma-nur
Learn to actually read before writing, you twat! – Suzy Whiteboard-Markerpen
What is writing? Seriously…what is it? – D.I.K. Head.
Writing is like sex. It rarely happens and when it does its over within 4 seconds, isn’t it…isn’t it? – Frank De De Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Words…words. Words, words, words. I like how they stroke my bum – Sylvia Fingercat
My pen has run out of ink…Oh no and that was the last pen in the world. Oh well, I’ll just stop – Kramer Tadpole
No one else actually cares about your bloody novel! – Trevor Breath.
So there you go writers! I am sure all of these quotes struck a chord and will inspire you to go on and produce work of outstanading quality!
If you’re not writing you should be reading and if you’re not reading you should be writing.
If you’re not writing or reading you should be reading about writing. If you’re not writing or reading or reading about writing you should be writing about reading.
Some books. All open at random pages. Messy.
If you’re not writing or reading or reading about writing or writing about reading you should be watching a documentary about writing. If you’re not writing or reading or reading about writing or writing about reading or watching a documentary about writing you should be reading about a documentary that is about writing that you will some day watch.
If you’re not writing or reading or reading about writing or writing about reading or watching a documentary about writing or reading about a documentary that is about writing that you will watch one day then you should be asleep.
A man who is in no way acting that he is asleep
If you’re not writing or reading or reading about writing or writing about reading or watching a documentary about writing or reading about a documentary that is about writing that you will watch some day or asleep you should be doing some light cardio.
If you’re not writing or reading or reading about writing or writing about reading or watching a documentary about writing or reading about a documentary that is about writing that you will watch some day or asleep or doing some light cardio you should be staring blankly into space wondering why you are not writing or reading or reading about writing or writing about reading or watching a documentary about writing or reading about a documentary that is about writing that you will watch some day or asleep or doing some light cardio.
A man. He is staring blankly.
If you’re not writing or reading or reading about writing or writing about reading or watching a documentary about writing or reading about a documentary that is about writing which you will watch some day or asleep or doing some light cardio or staring into space wondering why you are not writing or reading or reading about writing or writing about reading or watching a documentary about writing or reading about a documentary that is about writing that you will watch some day or asleep or doing some light cardio then you should be siting in your underwear eating custard straight out of the can whilst weeping gently.
Well I hope that clears things up about what to do if you’re not writing…bit for the past 5 minutes you’ve been reading about what to do when not writing so get out of here, get back to writing something…go on…now, seriously…go and write…stop looking.
It is often difficult to find the right words to convey what it is you’re trying to say but use the following piece of advice to ensure a riveting novel:
Employing elongated words makes your novel innumerably more intelligent so try not to use words such as ‘the’, ‘and’, ‘it’ and ‘of’.
Writers block, for those of you that don’t know is when you can’t think of anything to write. This will effect you at some point when writing a novel but don’t worry…my advice is this, if you are suffering from writers block just use your imagination to think of something.
One of the most important things that you will need to be a successful author is a pen. I will talk about this at greater length in the future as there are many different styles of pen to chose from and of course different coloured ink.