Mars Can Fuck-Off.

Due to the overwhelming positive responses to titles for possible Sci-Fi novels that I posted on Instagram (below) I have decided to write some excerpts from the most popular to help give you an idea on how to write the science fiction genre.

First up is the enigmatically entitled ‘Mars Can Fuck Off’

The spaceship cut through space like a cucumber cuts through mayonnaise. But this spaceship wasn’t green, it was silver and it was also a bit bigger than your standard cucumber. I’m not sure how much bigger exactly but pretty big as on it were three people who were on a mission to the red planet known as Mars. Also, space wasn’t like mayonnaise because space isn’t white and edible. Although if you were surrounded by either one of them you wouldn’t be able to breath.

Cucumber-600x600

A Cucumber

“Prepare to jump to light-speed”, said one of the people on the spaceship.

“Ok”, said one of the other people.

“Wait”, said the third person who’s name was Spunkrodder from the planet ‘Andromadomadingdong’, “It is illogical go jump to light-speed right now”.

“Goddamn alien know it all”, muttered one of the people.

“Why not?” asked the other person who was a bloke.

“Because we’ve just landed on Mars and Mars is the planet we are supposed to land on”, said Spunkrodder

It was true, the spaceship had just landed on the mysterious planet that is known as Mars.

 

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Mars

“So what do we do now?” questioned one of the people on the spaceship.

“We have to explore and look for any traces of the previous missions that have gone missing”, said Spunkrodder.

“Whatcha mean?” said the bloke.

“Our mission is to look for missing astronauts ‘n’ shit like that, even though we suspect they were killed by something living on this planet, which is called Mars”, said Spunkrodder informatively.

“You mean other people like me and this other bloke have gone missing and are presumed dead?” said one of the men.

“Yes”, said Spunkrodder.

“Well fuck that. Mars can fuck-off”, said a man.

And with that they took off in their spaceship that looked like a giant silver cucumber and went home. The trip back to Earth took ages and they were really tired at the end of it.

The End.

 

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